The Breakfast Club
by Demonic Houshi
Summary: A full, enhanced version of the Breakfast Club played by the InuYasha characters. Even though it has been done before, I'd thought I'd give it a try! InuYasha as the criminal, Miroku as the athlete, Kagome as the the princess, you get the idea.


Inu-Yasha

Breakfast Club

**Disclaimer: I own nothing at all, I am all on my lonesome**

**Summary: A full, enhanced version of the Breakfast Club played by the Inu-Yasha characters. Even though it has been done before, I'd thought I'd give it a try!**

**Note: I know this thing has been done, I love what they had done, like put the Inu-gumi characters to match the criminal-InuYasha, athlete-Miroku, princess-Kagome, basket case-Sango, and the brain- Shippou, I thank all who have done this story, you are a savior!**

**Rated- R (M)

* * *

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"...and these children that you spit on, as they try to change their worlds are immune to your consultations. They're quite aware of what they're going through... - David Bowie"

* * *

Saturday, Shikon high school. You here a monolouge from Shippo, "Saturday...March 24, 1984. Shikon High School, Tokyo, Japan. 60062. 

Dear Mr. Naraku...we accept the fact that we had to sacrifice a whole Saturday in detention for whatever it was that we did wrong, what we did was wrong. But we think you're crazy to make us write this essay telling you who we think we are, what do you care? You see us as you want to see us...in the simplest terms and the most convenient definitions. You see us as a brain, an athelete, a basket case, a princess and a criminal. Correct? That's the way we saw each other at seven o'clock this morning. We were brainwashed... "

In a car, you see a young girl and an older woman through the window, the younger girl's name is Kagome, her complextion seemed confused, "I can't believe you can't get me out of this...I mean it's so absurd I have to be here on a Saturday! It's not like I'm a defective or anything... "

Her mother had spoken, "I'll make it up to you...Honey, ditching class to go shopping doesn't make you a defective. Have a good day. " Kagome sighed as she made her way out the door onto the school.

Now, we see in Shippo's car. His mother is there and so is his little sister. He is sort of a nerd, "Is this the first time or last time we do this?"

Shippo mumbled, "Last."

"Well get in there and use time to your advantage!"

"But mom, we don't have to do anything, we're suppose to sit there and do nothing."

"Look mister, you better find a way to study!" His mom yelled, his sister had agreed with her. He walks out of the car and makes his way into the school building as well.

After he steps walks inside, you seen inside Miroku's car, he is clearly an athlete. His father had spoken, "Hey, I screwed around...guys screw around, there's nothing wrong with that. Except you got caught, Sport."

"Yea, mom already reemed me remember?"

His father is angry, "You wanna miss a match? You wanna blow your ride? Now no school's gonna give a scholarship to a discipline case."

Miroku opens the door as his father drives off. He too makes his way inside.

Coming onto campus, InuYasha, he is wearing sun glasses, he looks like a criminal. A car drives in front of him, but he continues walking.

Sango made her way out of the car, she wore black. She steps foward to the car's passenger side and looks in the window, but the car drives away.

* * *

There are six tables in two rows of three. Kagome is sitting at the front table. Shippo comes in and sits at the table behind her. Miroku comes in and points at the chair next to Kagome at the front table. She shrugs and he sits there. In walks InuYasha, he touches everything on the checkout desk and takes a few things in the process. He walks over to where Shippo is sitting and points to the table on the opposite side of the Library. Shippo reluctantly gets up and moves. InuYasha sits at the table where Shippo was and puts his feet up. Sango walks in. She walks all the way around the library and sits in the back corner table, just behind Shippo. Miroku and Kagome look at each other and snicker. Brian looks at her in confusion and then turns away. Enter Naraku, a teacher. He held a stack of papers in his left hand. He addresses the group with such disrespect it makes you wonder how he ever got the job. 

"Well well, here we are I want to thank you for being on time." He had spoken.

Kagome raises her hand, "Excuse me, sir? I think there's been a mistake. I know it's detention, but...um...I don't think I belong in here..."

The principle ignores her. "It's now 7:06, you have exactly eight hours and fifty-four minutes to think about why your here, to ponder the error of your ways..."

In the back, InuYasha spits in the air and catches the spit in his mouth again. Kagome is disgusted, she looks is though she was about to gag.

"You may not talk, you may not move from these seats, and you." He pulls the chair from under InuYasha, "Will not sleep. Alright people, we are going to try something a little different today. We are going to write an essay... of no less than a thousand words describing to me who you think you are." Naraku spoke

The hanyou questions him, "This a test?"

Naraku passes out paper and pencils and takes no notice of InuYasha, "And when I say essay...I mean essay. I do not mean a single word repeated a thousand times. Is that clear Mr. InuYasha?

"Crystal..." InuYasha blurts out.

"Good. Maybe you'll learn a little something about yourself. Maybe you'll even--decide whether or not you care to return. "

Shippo raises his hand and stands, "Sir, I can answer that question right now, that'd be a "No" for me cause..."

He was interrupted by Naraku, "Sit down Shippo!"

"Thank you sir." He sits down

Naraku points down the hall, "My office... is right across that hall, any monkey business is ill advised. Any

questions?" He looks around and sees InuYasha's hand up.

"I got a question."

"Spill it!"

The hanyou leans back in his chair, "Does Barry Manilow know you raid his wardrobe?"

"I'll give you the answer to that question, Mr. Bender, next Saturday. Don't mess with the bull young man, you'll get the horns. " Naraku finally takes his leave.

As he is leaving InuYasha spoke, "That man... is a brownie hound."

Everyone tries to get comfortable and we hear a loud snapping sound. Shippo turns and looks and it is Sango, biting her nails. InuYasha's eyes widen as he turns to look. Everyone is looking now. Sango notices them looking at her.

"You keep eating your hand and your not going to be hungry for lunch..."

Sango spits part of her nails at InuYasha.

"I've seen you before." InuYasha smirks.

Curiously, Naraku looks out of his office. He goes back to his work.

Shippo is playing with his pen, he says quietly to himself, "Who do you think I am... who are you?" He attaches the pen to the bottom of his lip, "I am a walrus!"

The hanyou looks at him in utter confusion. Shippo notices this, laughs and takes the pen out of his mouth-- embarrassed. InuYasha and Shippo begin to take their jackets off at the same time. They both notice this. Shippo stops removing his jacket. InuYasha takes his all the way off. Shippo rubs his hands together and pretends to be cold. He pulls his jacket back on. He turns and looks at InuYasha who is still staring at him. "It's the shits huh?" Shippo said.

InuYasha glares at him and Shippo utters an uncomfortable laugh. InuYasha turns away and crumples up his essay paper. He throws it at Kagome. It misses and goes over her head. Miroku and Kagome acknowlege it but continue to ignore InuYasha. The hanyou starts singing off key, "Nah nah nah nah nah! nah nah nah!"

"I can't believe this is really happening to me..." Kagome muttered.

"Oh shit!What'a we suppose to do if we hafta take a piss! Oh well, if you gotta go, you gotta go!" He unzips his pants.

Everyone is looking at InuYasha.

"Oh my God!" Kagome yells.

Miroku reacts, "Hey you're not urinating in here man!"

"Don't talk, don't talk, it makes it scare it back up!"

"You whip your dick out and you're dead before the first drop hits the floor!"

InuYasha gasps mockingly, "You're pretty sexy when you get angry, grr!" He turns to Shippo, "Hey homeboy."

The kitsune points at himself with his pen.

"Why don't you close that door, and we'll get the prom queen impregnated."

Kagome glares at him.

"Hey!" Miroku yelled, although InuYasha ignores him, "Hey bitch!"

"What!"

"If I lose my temper, you're totalled man!"

"Totally?"

"Totally!" Miroku snaps back.

Kagome tries to break it up, she yells to InuYasha, "Shut up, nobody here is interested!"

Still, InuYasha tempts Miroku, "Well hey sporto, what'd you do to get in here, forget to wash your jock?"

Shippo attempts to break it up too, "Guys, I think we should just write our papers."

Pissed off, Miroku gets up, so does InuYasha, "Look, just because you live in her doesn't give you the right to be a pain in the ass!"

The hanyou mockingly registers pain in his face. "It's a free country."

"Does it look like I give a damn!" Miroku looks in InuYasha's eyes.

Once again, Kagome tries to break it up, "Miroku, he's just trying to get a rise out of you, just ignore him!"

InuYasha however looks to her, "Sweetie, you couldn't ignore me if you tried... so are you two boyfriend and girlfriend?" He looks at Kagome, and Miroku now sitting down, "Steady dates? Lo--vers?"

Both Miroku and Kagome look at him furiously, "Go to hell!" the girl yelled to him.

In Naraku's office, he hears the commotion, "What is going on in there?" He goes back to work again, _smug little pricks._

Back in the library, InuYasha sit on a railing, "What do you say we close that door, we can't have a part with him checking on us every now and then."

"But the door is supposed to stay open."

"So what!"

"So why don't you just shut up! There's four other people in here you know!"

"God you can count, you're pretty smart to be a wrestler!"

Miroku is pissed, "Who the hell are you to judge anybody, anyway? You know InuYasha, you don't even count, I mean if you disapear forever it wouldn't make a difference, you may as well not exist at this school!"

The hanyou is upset about this, he pauses a moment before speaking, he doesn't spill his emotions out however, "Well... I'll just run right out and join the wrestling team."

Laughing at this, Miroku and Kagome look at him.

"Or maybe the prep club too," He looks to Kagome.

Shippo feels left out, "I'm in the math club." He says this to no one in particular.

The hanyou looks at Shippo, "What?"

"I'm in the science club, the math club and the physics club.

Looking to Kagome, the hanyou questions her, "Are you in the physics club?"

"It's an academic club."

"So?" InuYasha doesn't seem that interested now.

Miroku is tired of their babbling, "I got to meet this Saturday and I'm not going to miss it because of you bone-heads!"

The criminal lets out a fake moan, "Wouldn't that be a bite!"

"You wouldn't know anything about it faggot, you never competed in your whole life!"

"Yea, I have such deep admiration for guys that roll on the floor with other guys!"

"Ahh... you'd never miss it. You don't have any goals."

"Oh, but I do, I wanna be just like---you! I figure all I need is an ugly monk robe and tights to go with it!"

Shippo suddenly becomes interested, "You wear tights?"

"I wear the required uniform..."

"Tights."

The houshi goes on the defensive, "Shut up

They hear Naraku moving around out in the hall so InuYasha quickly comes and sits in the chair between Kagome and Miroku. He folds his hands on the table. Naraku goes back into his office. InuYasha laughs and gets up. He starts walking towards the double doors that separate the library from the hallway. The hanyou points to Shippo, "Young man, have you finished your paper?"

InuYasha turns back away and goes to the door. He looks around cautiously and removes a screw from the door.

"What are you going to do?" Kagome questioned InuYasha.

"Drop dead I hope!" Miroku yells out.

In the halls, Naraku is getting a drink at the fountain. He stands up and checks the way he looks in a mirror. He does a muscular pose and utters some manly jibberish "Cobadonga"

* * *

Back in the room, Shippo seems more worried as InuYasha continues to mess with the door. "That's the school's property, we are not suppose to toy with it." 

The door slams shut.

"That's very funny, now come on, fix it!"

"Yea, you should really fix that!"

InuYasha smirks walking towards the check-out counter, "Am I a genius?"

"No, you're an asshole!"

"What a funny guy!"

Now Miroku is deeply annoyed, "Fix the door InuYasha..."

The hanyou shushes everybody, with his dog ears, he hears Naraku.

We see Naraku walking back to his office. He stops and listens to them through the closed door.

"Fix the fucking door InuYasha!"

"Shut up!" The hanyou snapped as Naraku opens the door and storms in.

His face is tormented by anger, "Why is that door closed?"

Playing with him, InuYasha spoke, "How're we suppose to know? We are not supposed to move, right?"

Naraku looks to Kagome, "Why?"

She gives the same remark as InuYasha had said. Now Naraku's eyes turn to InuYasha, "Last chance, who closed that door?" He looks at the hanyou like he knows he had done so.

"I think a screw fell out of it." He looks to Miroku. The houshi nods.

"It just closed, sir."

Naraku who looks at Sango in the back, "Who?"

She gave out a squeak as she slams her head on the desk, hiding in her jacket hood.

"She doesn't talk, sir." InuYasha had said leaning back in his chair once again.

It seems Naraku knows, he glares at InuYasha, "Give me the damn screw!"

"I don't have it, screws fall out all the time, the world is an imperfect place."

Saving InuYasha's skin, the miko had spoke, "Excuse me sir, why would anyone want to steal a screw?"

Vernon goes over to the door. He tries to hold it open by putting a folding chair in front of it.

"The door is way to heavy, sir." As those words were spoken out of the hanyou, the door couldn't suffice any longer.

Naraku gave off a frustrating growl, "God damn it"

They all laugh as Naraku opens the door and comes back in, he points to Miroku, "Come on, front and center, lets go!"

Reluctantly, Miroku finds his way up and walks to Naraku. He helps him move a book rack to the door, he had barged perfectly in between.

"That's very clever sir, but what if there is a fire? I think violating fire codes and endangering the lives of children would be most unwise at this juncture in your career, sir."

The principle thinks for a moment, he then ordered Miroku around, "What are you doing with this? Get it outta here for god's sake! What the hell is a matter with you, move!"

"You know, the school comes equipped with fire exits on either side of the library." Shippo points at each fire exit. InuYasha gives off a deadly stare.

"Show Dick some respect!" The hanyou exclaimed.

Miroku and Naraku return to the main section of the library, "I expected more from a varsity monk. And you InuYasha, the next screw that falls out, its gonna be you!" Naraku turns around to leave.

"Eat my shit!"

Naraku spins in his tracks and faces InuYasha, "What was that!"

"Eat... my... shit!"

"You earned yourself another Saturday in detention mister!"

"Oh christ." InuYasha rolls his eyes.

"You just brough one more right there!"

"Well, I'm free the Saturday after that, beyond that maybe, I'll check my calender."

"Good! 'Cause it's gonna be filled, we'll keep on goin'! Just say one more damn word, say the damn worder InuYasha!Instead of going to prison, you'll be coming here!"

"Hell no!"

"I'm doing society a favor!" Naraku exclaimed.

Still InuYasha battled him, "So?"

"That's another one right there! I've got you for the rest of your natural born life if you don't watch your step, you wanna another one!"

"Hell yea!"

"Come on, another one pal!"

Kagome looks to the hanyou, "Cut it out!"

"You through?"

"Not even close bud!"

"Good, that's one right there!"

"Do you really think I give a rat's ass?"

"Another, come on. Is that all you got?"

With not one care in the world, InuYasha questions him, "And how many is that!"

Shippo interrupts, "That's seven, because you remember when we first came in and you asked Mr. Naraku here whether Barry Manilow knew that he raided his closet."

"Now it's eight! And you Shippo, stay out of it!"

"Excuse me sir, but it's still seven."

"SHUT UP PEEWE!" He looks to the hanyou, "You're mine now for two months, I got you, I got you!"

"I am so thrilled."

"You know InuYasha, you ought to spen a little more time trying to do something with yourself and spend less time trying to impress people. You might be better off!" His attention switches to everybody, "Alright, thats it, I'll be right outside those doors, and next time I have to come in here, I'm cracking skulls!"

InuYasha lips, "I'm cracking skulls" as Naraku finished his sentence. Now the demon walks away. The fight had climaxed, but InuYasha still wanted some more, "FUCK YOU!"

The clock, reads a quarter to eight. We see InuYasha, lighting his shoe on fire and lighting a cigarette with his shoe, Kagome thinking, We see Shippo playing with his balls, Miroku playing with his sweatshirt, Allison pulling a string around her finger and making it turn purple. We see Bender put the flames on his shoe out. He then plays air guitar. Allison drawing. We see Miroku playing paper football. He cheers silently. Allison shakes dandruff from her hair onto her picture.

Bored, the hanyou starts a whistling tune, in which soon, Miroku had joined second, then Kagome, now everybody joined in. After a while InuYasha goes to sleep, Kagome, Sango and Shippo also. Then at last Miroku.

Naraku appears in front of the sleeping kids, "Wake up! Who has to go to the lavatory?"

Everyone raises their hand as they are stilling napping.

After everyone comes from the bathroom, they all look at the clock which read 10:22. With nothing else to do, Miroku begins stretching, and InuYasha begins tearing pages out of a book.

"That's real inteligent InuYasha." Miroku spoke sarcastically.

"It so much fun to read, Molet really pumps me up!"

Kagome had corrected him, "It's pronounced Mol-yare."

The kitsune had also joined in the conversation, "I love his work."

InuYasha tosses the rest of the pages at Shippo. He picks up the card catalogue drawer and begins to take cards out.

"Big deal, theres nothing to do when you are locked in a vacancy."

"Speak for yourself..." Miroku spoke faintly.

"Do you think I'd speak for you? I don't even speak your freakin language!"

Miroku looks to Kagome, "You grounded tonight?"

"I don't know."

"I hear there's a big party at Kouga's tonight, my parents are in Europe, it should be wild and crazy. Can you come?"

"I doubt it."

"Why not?"

"Its my mother, she bosses me like shit."

InuYasha comes, "Who do you like better, your old man, or your mom?"

"I don't know, they are both strict, maybe I'll live with my brother. Neither of my parents really give a crap about me anyway."

A voice from the back could be heard, everybody looks back, "Ha!" it was Sango. She simply blew her hair out of her face and grins.

"Shut up." Kagome had spoken.

"You're just feeling sorry for yourself." Said Miroku.

"Yeah, if I didn't, no one else would."

"Aw, you're breaking my heart." Miroku spoke sliding back in his chair.

"And what about you monk, do you like your parents?" InuYasha had said standing next to Miroku.

"Well, if I say yes than I'm an idiot, right?"

"You're an idiot anyway... But if you say your get along with your parents, well, you're a liar too."

InuYasha walks away, turning his back on Miroku, that was a big mistake, he pushes the hanyou, "If we weren't in school, I swear to Buddha I'd waste you!"

The hanyou points his middle finger to the floor, "Can you hear this? Want me to turn it up fool?" InuYasha guides his finger from the floor to Miroku.

Trying to stop them from a fight, Shippo places a hand on both their shoulders,"Fellas, please don't!"

Miroku shrugs his hand off, "Let the bastard have me."

"I don't like my parents either, I don't, I don't get their idea of parental compassion... it's just, dumb!"

InuYasha turns to Shippo, "Freakin' dork.

"Yeah?" Shippo spoke.

"Listen kid, you are a parent's wet dream okay?"

"Why do you have to insult everybody!" The houshi had stepped foward to InuYasha.

"I'm being honest, asshole, and hey you kitsune!"

"He has a name bastard!"

"Yea? What's your name?" He turns to Shippo waiting for an answer.

"Shippo..." The kitsune spoke softly

Miroku smacked the desk, his righteous shined down on InuYasha, "See, I told you so."

The hanyou looks to the miko, "What's your name?"

"Kagome..."

"Ka-go-me? That sounds like a fat girl's name."

"Gee thanks." She had snapped.

"You're welcome." InuYasha snapped back at her.

"I am not fat!" Kagome had screeched.

InuYasha made himself comfortable on Kagome and Miroku's desk, "Well, not at present, but I can really see you're pushing maximum density! You see, there are two kinds of fat people, there are fat people who are born fat, and fat people who were once thin and chose themselves to be fat... so when you look at them, you can really see that person inside! You'll see, you might marry that monk over there, squeeze out a few puppies and uh..." He mimes becoming over weight making sounds. Kagome gives him the finger, "Oh... obscene finger gestures from such a pristine girl!"

Resenting this, Kagome through it back in his face, "I am not that pristine."

The hanyou creeps closer to her, "Are you a virgin? I bet you a million dollars, that you are."

"Why don't you just shut up?"

"Have you ever been kissed by a boy on the mouth? Have you ever felt up? Over the bra, under that blouse, shoes off, hoping to god your parents don't walk in?

"Do you want me to puke?"

"Over the panties, no bra, blouse unbuttoned, Calvin's in a ball on the front seat past eleven on a school night?"

Miroku seems pissed off, "Leave her alone!"

The hanyou faces him, Miroku speaks in his face fearlessly, "I said leave her alone!"

"You and how many of your friends?"

"Just you and me. Two hits, me hitting you, you hitting the floor, anytime you're ready pal!"

InuYasha hits him but Miroku grabs InuYasha and places him on the ground, his face lays on the cold floor. "I don't want to get into this with you man..."

The houshi lets him go, "Why the hell not?"

" 'Cause I'd kill ya, it's real simple, I'd kill you and your fucking parents would sue me and it would be a mess, it wouldn't be wise to even bother with you."

"Chicken shit!"

InuYasha pulls out a sword hidden from his kimono, "Unless you really want a taste of my Tetsusaiga, your fucking choice monk." The sword transforms, it looked like a huge fang from Miroku's point of view. The blade goes to normal as InuYasha stabs it through the table.

"Let's end this, right now. You don't talk to her... you don't look at her... and you don't even think about her, understand me InuYasha? So come on, bring your sword to your aid, it won't change the fact that you'll die before you even strike me!" His eyes were serious.

All eyes shifted towards the one coming in, it was Janitor Bankotsu. "Shippo, how are you doing?"

Shippo is embarrased.

"Your dad works here?" InuYasha was on the verge of a giggle, his focus goes to Bankotsu, "Hey Bankotsu, how does one become a janitor?"

"You wanna be a janitor?"

"No, I just want to know how one becomes a janitor, because Miroku here is very interested in persuing a career of custodial arts."

Bankotsu snips, "Oh really? You guys think I'm just some untouchable peasant? Peon? Huh? Maybe so, but following a broom around looking for shitheads like you for the past eight years I've learned a couple of things... I look through your letters, I look through your lockers... I listen to your conversations, you don't know what I do... I am the eyes and ears of this institution my friends." He walks out the door, but he once again stops, "And by the way, that clock is 20 minutes fast.

The houshi slips in a fast one, turning at the clock, "Shit!"

* * *

In Naraku's office, the clock says 11:30, seeing this, he gets up and makes his way to InuYasha and the others. He enters as InuYasha begins to whistle Beethoven's 5th. 

"Alright girls, that's thirty minutes for lunch."

"Right here?" Questioned a monk.

"Here..." Naraku spoke coldly.

"Well I think the cafeteria would be a morre suitable place for us to eat sir." Miroku argued.

"I don't give a damn what you think, monk!"

InuYasha joins in, "Uh, dick, excuse me... will milk be made available to us?"

"We're extremely thirsty sir..." Miroku agreed with his rival.

"I have a low tolerance for dehydration."

"I've seen her dehydrate sir, its pretty gross."

The hanyou stands, "I guess I'll get it!"

"Grab some wood there bub," He points at InuYasha's chair. Only the hanyou managed to grin, "You think I was born yesterday? Do you really think I'm going to let you roam here in these halls?" Naraku points to Miroku. Then he points to Sango in the back. "And you, what's her name? Get on your feet missy!"

She gets up.

"There's a soft drink machine in the teachers lounge. Let's go!"

They are now in the hallway, they begin their journey to the teacher's lounge, Miroku wants to start a conversation with her, "What's your poison?" She doen't answer, "What do you drink?" She still doesn't answer, "Fine, forget I asked."

After a couple of steps she speaks, "Vodka..."

"Vodka? Since when do you drinik vodka?"

"Whenever."

"A lot?"

"Tons."

"Let me guess, is that why you're here today, or am I wrong?"

Sango fights him, "Why are you here?" Miroku backs up against the wall as she is in his face, "Uh, I'm here today because my coach and my father don't want to blow my ride. See, I get treated differently because uh, Coach thinks I am a winner. So does my old man. I'm not in fact a winner because I want to be one... I'm a winner because I have strength and speed. Kinda like a race horse. Thats how I am involved in what's happening to me."

"Yeah? That's real interesting. Now why don't you tell me why you are really in here."

"Forget it!"

The hanyou, the miko, and the kitsune wait around for the sodas, "Kagome, you want to see a picture of a guy with elephantitus of the nuts? It's pretty tasty."

"No thank you." She mumbles.

"And how do you think he rides a bike?"

Kagome rolls her eyes and turns away.

"Would you ever consider dating a guy with swollen testicals Kagome?"

"Can't you just leave me alone?"

"I mean, if he had great personality in all, he was a great dancer and had a cool car... although you would have to ride in the back seat 'cause his nuts would ride shotgun."

"You know what I wish I was doing?" Kagome mutters.

"Oh, better watch what you say, I think Shippo here is a cherry."

"A cherry?"

"I wish I was going on a plane to France."

"I'm not a cherry!"

InuYasha looks to the kitsune, "When have you ever got laid?"

"I've got laid a lots of times."

"Name one then."

"She lives in Canada, you wouldn't know her, we met at Mt Fuji."

"Ever fucked anyone from around here?"

Shippo shushed InuYasha and points to the miko with her back still turned.

"Oh... you and the miko did it!"

The miko turned around, "What are you talking about?"

"Nothing, nothing, we'll talk about it later."

"No, tell me what you keep talking about."

"Well, Shippo's trying to tell me that in addition to the number of girls in the Mt. Fuji area, that presently, you and he are riding the hobby horse!"

Kagome turns to Shippo in disgust, "You little pig!"

"I'm not! InuYasha said I was a cherry and I was suppose to prove him wrong, thats all!"

"Well then why were you motioning to Kagome?"

"He's lying Kagome!"

"Oh so you were not motioning to Kagome?"

Shippo is shaking, "You know he's lying, right?"

"Were you or were you not motioning to Kagome?"

"It was only I didn't want her to know I was a virgin."

"I think it's OK for a guy to be a virgin..." Kagome had said.

InuYasha looks surprised at the miko, "You do?"

She smiles and nods.

Later, everybody has their lunch. Kagome begins taking her out of a shopping bag.

Wondering what food might be in there, InuYasha questions her, "What the hell is in there?"

"Guess, and where is your lunch?"

"You're wearing it..."

"You're nauseating."

InuYasha grabs a coke and tosses it over to Sango who catches it without looking up. The hanyou watches Kagome set up a sushi platter. "the hell is that?"

"Sushi..."

"Sushi?"

"Rice, uh, raw fish and some seaweed."

"You won't accept a guy's tounge in your mouth, and you're gonna eat that crap?"

"Can I eat?"

"I don't know... give it a try."

Now Miroku takes out a couple of sandwiches out of his bag, a bag of potato chips, an apple, a banana, a bag of cookies, and a carton of milk.

Sango opens her coke and it fizzes over. She loudly slurps it off the table and her fingers.

The monk see's InuYasha looking at him, "What the hell is your problem?"

Opening her sandwich and tossing it in the sculpture above. Sango opens a couple of pixie stix and pours it on one side of bread, she then puts Cap'n Crunch on top of it all as she puts the piece of bread over it taking a loud bite. There is lound crunching in the room.

InuYasha goes over and sits down beside Shippo and takes his lunch. "What are we having?" He reaches in and grabs a thermos, "Milk?"

"No, soup."

The hanyou begins his searching spree yet again and pulls out a juice box, Shippo reaches over to the bag, the hanyou strike him on the hand.

"That's apple juice."

"I can read! PB and J with the crusts cut off... well Shippo, this is a very nutrious lunch, all of the food groups are represented. Did your mom marry Mr. Rogers?

Miroku and Kagome smile at eachother. InuYasha begins to stand. "Here's my impression of life at big Shippou's house..." He goes to a fatherly friendly voice, "Son!" He switches to a kiddie voice, "Yeah Dad?"

His father imitation returns, "How's your day pal?"

"Great dad, how's yours?"

"Super, say son, how'd you like to go fishing this weekend?"

"Great Dad, but I've got homework to do!"

"That's alright son, you can do it, on the boat!"

"Gee!"

InuYasha goes into a father voice, "Dear, isn't our son swell?" He then goes for a femine voice, "Yes dear, isn't our life swell?" He mimes mother kissing father kissing mother and father punching mother in the face."

It is not so funny anymore.

"Alright, what about your family?"

"Oh mine? That's real easy."

As his father, InuYasha begins another imitation and points foward, "Stupid, worthless, no good, God damned, freeloading, son of a bitch, retarded, bigmouth, know it all, asshole, jerk!" He changes to his mother, "You forgot ugly, lazy, and disrespectful..." InuYasha slaps his invisible mom, "Go fix me a turkey pot pie!"

He goes to his own self, "What about you dad?"

"Fuck you!"

"No dad, what about you?"

"Fuck you!"

"No dad, what about you!"

"FUCK YOU!" InuYasha as his father hitting him.

Shippo is shocked, "Is that for real?"

"You wanna come over sometime?"

"That's all a bunch of horse piss, its all apart of your image, I don't believe a word of it."

"You don't believe me monk?" InuYasha is hurt by his words.

"No."

"No?"

"Did I stutter InuYasha?"

The hanyou come over to Miroku and rolls up his sleeve to reveal a circular shaped burn, "Do you believe me now? That's about the size of a cigar, did I stutter? You see, this is what you get for spilling paint in the garage." InuYasha walks away, "You see, I don't need to sit here with your fuckin' friends anymore! He walks over to a map table and throws all on the floor. He climbs up on top of a table then up to the second floor balcony.

At Naraku's office, he puts an orange in his mouth and then attempts to pour coffee out of his thermos. He misses as it spills all over his desk, "OH SHIT!" He screams as the coffee drips onto his skin."

He walks in the hallway talking to himself.

InuYasha comes out of the library along with everyone else. He and Kagome are walking next to eachother. Shippo and Miroku are walking next to eachother, and Sango follows behind. "How do you know where Naraku went?" asked the miko.

"I don't"

"Then how do you know when he is going to be back?"

"I dunno, being bad feels pretty damn good, huh?"

Shippo looks to Miroku, "What's the point going to InuYasha's locker?"

"I dunno."

"Then why are we doing this?"

Miroku looks down at the smaller one, "Ask me one more fucking question and I'll beat the shit outta you!"

"Sorry."

* * *

They arrive at InuYasha's locker, the hanyou opens it. 

"Slob!" Miroku yelled.

He pulls out a bag of marijuana. He walks away, Kagome follows.

"Screw that InuYasha, put it back!"

"That was marijuana!" Shippo yelled out.

"Shut the hell up!" Miroku and Shippo run after Kagome and InuYasha.

As they left, Sango steals the lock of his locker.

"We'll cross through the lab, and we'll double back."

"You better be right, if Naraku sees us off, it's your fault asswipe!"

They all see Naraku down one of the halls. There are various sequences of them running in halls also running into Naralu. "God, wait, hold it, we have to go to the cafeteria!"

"No, the activities hall."

"Hey man, you don't know what you are talking about!"

"No, you don't know what you're talking about."

Sango gives off a squeak.

"Now we're through listening to you, we're going this way."

All of them follow Miroku and run to a hall closed by an iron gate, "Fuck!" Miroku yells, trying to break the bars.

"Great idea, jag off!"

"Fuck you!"

"Shut up Miroku! Why didn't you listen to InuYasha?"

Shippo knows they are screwed, "We're dead..."

The hanyou smiles, "Just me... keep your eyes on this!" He shoves his dope down Shippo's underpants. He runs away singing, "I wanna be an airborne ranger!"

Naraku hears InuYasha. The rest of the group runs, "That son of a bitch!" Naraku calls out. He runs awhile and finally sees him in the gym. InuYasha is going for a basket.

"Three, two, one!" He dunks the ball.

"What the hell is this InuYasha?"

"Oh hi!"

"Out InuYasha, last straw, get the hell out!"

"Don't you want to hear my excuse?" He dribbles his ball, "I'm thinking of trying out for a scholarship."

"Gimmie the ball InuYasha."

InuYasha fakes the ball at Naraku. He then places it down and rolls it to Naraku, the principle kicked the ball at InuYasha only the hanyou dodges. They leave.

* * *

The rest of the gang are all sitting in their seats when Naraku and InuYasha enter. "Get your stuff hanyou, Mr. wise guy here has taken upon himself to go to the gymnasium. I'm sorry to inform you but you are going to be without his services the rest of the day. 

"Boo hoo!" InuYasha speaks.

"Everything is a big joke to you huh? The false alarm you pulled Friday, false alarms are really funny aren't they? What if your hom... what if you famil... what if you DOPE was on fire?"

"Impossible sir, it's in Shippo's underpants."

Miroku snickers.

"You think he's funny? You think he's bitchin'? You go visit InuYasha and five years, you'll see how god- damned funny it is!" Naraku grabs InuYasha's shoulder.

"Hey keep your fuckin' hands off me! I expect better manners from you dick!" InuYasha places his sunglasses and lays them in front of Miroku, "For better hallway vision." He leaves, knocking stuff down on the floor.

Naraku shoves InuYasha in the closet, "That is the last time you make me look bad infront of those kids, someday man, someday. I'm gonna be there, that's right, I'm going to kick the living shit out of you. I'm going to knock your dick in the dirt!"

"You threatening me?"

"What are you going to do about it, they'll never believe you, I am a well respected man at this school. You think they are going to take your word out of mine? Come one, let's see how tough you are, I'll give you the first punch, let's go! Please, I'm begging you, come on, take one shot, thats all I need!"

InuYasha sits there staring at Naraku. Naraku fakes a punch and InuYasha flinches.

"That's what I thought, you are a gutless turd!"

Naraku leaves and locks the closet door. InuYasha climbs into a hatch in the ceiling and disapears.

The hanyou is slowly crawling through the heat duct. "A naked blond walks into a bar, with a poodle under one arm and a two foot salami under the other, she lays the poodle on the table. Bartender says: "I suppose you won't be needing a drink." Naked lady says... The ceiling under InuYasha gives way. He fall through, "Oh SHIT!"

Naraku is in the bathroom, "Jesus Christ almighty!

Slowly InuYasha walks towards his desk seeing Kagome and the others, "I forgot my pencil..."

* * *

**(A/N: Forgive me if this is to long, pt2 is on the way and won't be as long.)**


End file.
